1000 words

bm07_day04_032

if only they were each worth the 10's of 1000's needed to explain the circumstance, the scenario, the situation underwhich they were snapped.

a big bolt of gratitude to the treehugger massive for allowing me to lose my virginity in such good company. and special thanks to those of you who took care of my body in times of need, or showing me things in terms of mentorship. you know who you are.

its been a long & strange week. its at once both strange and perfectly natural for me to say that i thoroughly miss each of you.  i've known some of you for only the truncated calendar week we spent together out there. yet it feels as though i'm writing to my dear roommates from university.

i'm doing a lot of routine actions as if they're for the first time.  i feel an overwhelming sense of pride in the accomplishment, after looking at it on a shelf for 10 years. and i'm not even sure i know what it is that i've done.

i understand & respect that some of these words, while familiar to your experience, may sound quaint and perhaps a little bit trite given your feelings about previous years' trajectories in counterpoint to next years direction for the whole construct.

i found myself involuntarily giggling my disbelief & roaring my approval alone in open playa.

i repeatedly wept openly amongst strangers in my daily attempt to digest the temple offerings.

i held silent council with parts of my psyche i'd never before met, and may not hear from again until all these other voices become silenced.

i felt, in some ways, at some times, more mature and more of an aware adult then i ever have before (in stark contrast with the ubiquitous peter pannish reverie)

i listened attentively to the acrid bile of veteran burners performing their obligitory bashing of the institution that continues to define whole quadrants of their adult lives.

i rode an average of 15 miles per day and would argue i didnt experience but half the installations or a tenth of the camps.

and at the risk of waxing rutger hauer, i've seen things you people wouldnt believe.

but then again, you guys, of anyone else, dont have to take my word for any of this.

i love you more than words.